The Celeb Snitch

Leigh Lezark can smile

The Celeb Snitch — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 08:00:06 +0000

We caught Leigh Lezark of misshapes smiling! Who would have thought. And in other news, New Era is coming out with new fashion inspired hats. The first one will be a limited release by artist KAWS, limited to only one. Hopefully Shepard Fairey will be the next artist, I can totally see an Obey Giant New Era hat just like that, See after the cut for pictures.

Taking Lessons From Larry Clark

The Celeb Snitch — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 08:00:57 +0000

Larry Clark has been seen around town, probably getting underage girls to “star” in his home movies. But everyone knows that he is just teaching all the hipsters how to really get the youngens. Cobrasnake and Frankie Chan have been seen following him around to all the 18 and over clubs around town. Cobrasnake even took him to a 16 year olds birthday party photoshoot. The parents were infuriated and promptly kicked cobrasnake and larry out of the house. Cobrasnake kept the money that was given to him to do the party. And Larry left with a present of his own, I know who is starring in his next movie.

Why We Can Never Find Frankie Chan

The Celeb Snitch — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:00:25 +0000

Where is midget DJ? Hint: His head is smaller than that guys hand minus the thumb up. He’s with a girl twice his size and even more grumpy. If you hang out and look grumpy you can be cool too. That’s why Mr. Thumbs Up took them home to get some grumpy lessons. Did you know Midget DJ’s real name? Fredrick Fontana, but I bet he changed it because it sounds like instant pron.

Weston Deboer - Asshole Doorman

The Celeb Snitch — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 08:00:53 +0000

There’s that asshole doorman from Danceright. He got a crazy 90s makeover from Aoki. We hear he’ll do anything to get in a picture with famous people. Wouldn’t you!?*!*!! “No” is the correct answer.

Cory Kennedy Kicked out of New York Fashion Week

The Celeb Snitch — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 08:00:35 +0000

Thank god this didn’t happen to us, But rumors are that Cory Kennedy has gotten herself kicked out of all of Fashion Week in NY. There are rumors abound as to why this happened, but our trustfull tipsters have told us that it was because she is not the celebrity that she promised everyone that she is. And she was quickly dropped by her agency and “loyal” friends. It has even been said that Cobrasnake has even found a new muse to replace her, more on that later.

Everybody Likes Peanut Butter Asian Sandwiches

The Celeb Snitch — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 08:00:52 +0000

Ok mister, we don’t know you, but we like you. You have just enough flare, not too much. Your style is whatever struck you that day - not in style, not 80s or 90s, or trying so hard for what is next. You aren’t over photographed. Your DJ skills put me to sleep, but you care about music and we can tell. Best of all, we hear you like Asian girls and please them a lot. Cheers to you mister DJ Peanut Butter Asian Sandwiches.

What Do 60 Year Old Rockers & Cobraskank Have in Common?

The Celeb Snitch — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 08:00:40 +0000

I’ve said it before, but I have to say it again…I really don’t know what else you could do that would say “pay attention to me” more than this, but “don’t really look at me” because I’m so ugly I’m hiding it with the 80s and 90s and just doing it to make money. Maybe continue to dress like a rocker when your 60 and tie a gaggle of scarves to your microphone and make really big gestures with your fugly face when you sing…that would get the same effect.

Democratic Presidential Nominee, Part II

The Celeb Snitch — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 08:00:45 +0000

We hear these two work together. She’s been slowly destroying his credibility at work by making him jump at her every whim, even if the whims are worthwhile. It’s her plan for man and world domination. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the next credible Democratic presidential nominee. And yes, she is a Muslim extremist. Note how she’s already cleverly pulling in the young urban Latino vote in such a coy way.

I’m Bossy When I’m Not a Hipster With Gay Buoys

The Celeb Snitch — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 08:00:04 +0000

What happened to you? Did you go shopping at hipster ‘r’ us? Sweetie, you don’t look bossy anymore. You look like a hipster in gay boy wonderland. We are disappointed in you.

Aoki Some More

The Celeb Snitch — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:00:43 +0000

No, sweetie, it’s not you. It’s the indie drunk 90s long hair who won’t stop believing he’s a promoter (read party animal) and DJ too famous. You are so hired. Remember to embrace your non-celeb status and breathe the real air.