are they really a celebrity?
They had a 3some that night. The P on his hat stands for Pirates of the Butt. He was more into the other guy than her. She was just bored. They asked me to take pictures, but that was too gross. I think this is caused by the pool water at Danceright on the rooftop, aka Swimming with Sex Water and Herpes. Please just meet people through friends, not at these ickfests. Go have fun in a pool that isn’t filled with dirty hipsters.
If you cover your face in tattoos does that mean you’re the coolest? Do you win a prize at the end? Or is it how tan you are? Or how much red you can wear all at once? Or how Paris Hasbeen you look with everyone blocking you out the picture while you text? I think the winner actually got paid to be there. Ups to people who work for a living…don’t worship false idols, even if they look like funny ha ha clowns.
Our coveted man about town, Matt F Goldman of the celebrated and ever expanding MFG brand parties is said to be single right now. We know this won’t last long, so Ladies, take your best shot. The man can throw a party, likes to dance, has taste in music/food/wine, and we hear he is fabulous in bed. All his exes like the sexes… You didn’t hear it from me, but, Matt is a big softy for puppies and pussies and cute pictures of himself.
The Swindle party celebrating CLAW’s new bag line was executed beautifully. You didn’t hear it from me, but, “CLAW”, like a bull in a china shop, was ever entertaining as she drunkenly proclaimed at the door when she finally showed up, “This is my party, I don’t have to show my ID” as she pushed by the security guard. Yes, CLAWdia it’s your party and maybe 15 minutes…
Can women of the world finally get a classy fanny pack? Hmmm, fuck no.
Let’s cut right to the chase on this one, you didn’t hear it from me, but, the most hated doorjam, Weston from La Cita, yes, he is just a doorman, was attacked on Thursday night. After offending 1 billion customers, one finally lashed out at him by choking him and threatening to punch him in the face. As Weston laughed and laughed the customer became more enraged. It wasn’t pretty to say the least. Bad Weston, bad Weston, but door rage isn’t pretty for anyone. Can we all just get in?